zoethe: (Star Wars)
My horoscope today said it was a good day to indulge in sensual pleasures and pampering - massage, manicure, long, hot soak in the tub.

The Zodiac apparently hasn't gotten word about my life schedule.

Today was working on a legal writing assignment for an hour, then driving Erin and her buddy ti Pittsburgh to get on the train back to school, then racing back to Cleveland for a mandatory meeting with my legal writing professor, then this little window of time before tonight's SBA meeting (madatory, of course).

But you know, even in a schedule like that, you can find little luxuries if you look. Driving down to Pitt I got to visit with my daughter, a rare treat even when she is in town since she almost invariably brings a friend. Driving back I had the freedom to crank up music I wanted to listen to and sing to my heart's content, something that doesn't happen much at home, since I'm generally working or going to sleep. My meeting with the legal writing prof went well, and we visited for a while afterwards.

This isn't to say that the day wasn't in many ways one long panic attack that I was pressing down with all this "spin," because it was. But I kind of have two choices: focus on the panic attack, or focus on the spin. I'm choosing to focus on the spin. Because focusing on the panic attack will only make it worse, while focusing on the spin will - hopefully - make it better.

Now, a quick walk around the block before the meeting. Then home to dinner and some more homework. Take a deep breath and SPINSPINSPIN!!
zoethe: (Default)
Small triumphs:
· Wearing my winter coat with both arms in the sleeves.
· Being able to put things in my left coat pocket.
· Wearing tights (though getting them on this morning amounted to aerobic activity – I actually broke a sweat between the twisting and turning and the pain).
· Putting a glass in the cabinet with my left hand and only a little “assist” from the right.
· Being able to use the turn signals while driving.
· Knowing that these shooting pains aren’t a sign that I’m doing damage to myself, but a sign that I’m improving.

· My gait is completely off. I didn’t notice when I was in the sling, but now that my left arm is not swinging naturally I can feel that I’m out of sync.
· The continued existence of the shooting pains, even if I’m not worried about them anymore. Fucking hell.
zoethe: (Default)
I started out writing another whining, "I'm so miserable because I'm depressed and I hate being depressed" entry. Who the fuck cares? Some 60% of America is clinically depressed--what's so unique about that??! So instead, I decided to write about the most ridiculous, embarrassing, silly things for which I am grateful and that make me happy. (Just assume the wonderful hubby, great kids thang. They're the tops, but not what this list is supposed to be about.)

Syndicated Television--I've decided that it's not worth getting involved in a show during it's early, first-run stages. Why get all involved with characters that the networks are likely to cancel after 8 episodes? Why, for that matter, care at all until your friends are raving so much that it's obvious you're missing out on The Real Thing. It was GREAT doing 5 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a matter of three months. I'm all kewl and Trivial Pursuit-y now, and I didn't have to spend 5 years getting there. Same thing with Star Trek: The Next Generation. I watched the first two eps and abandoned it with a resounding "yawn." Didn't see it again until the final ep. Wow, fuckin' good TV! Watched 7 years of shows in chron order on 5-day-a-week reruns in about 4 months, and was instantly a superior geek to the friends who had stuck around faithfully all those years. Woo AND hoo.

Videotape--Without this wonderful invention, I would never have been able to catch up on 5 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in so short of time. Working for the OPB, I couldn't get home by 6pm when the first of two eps per evening aired on FX. Thanks to the wonders of magnetic tape, I could come home, have dinner, check email, and then whirr past commercials and watch two eps less than an hour and a half. How sweet is that?

Gardening books, magazines and websites--This is my favorite time of year for gardening. Things are slowing down, there's not much point in doing terribly more, but boy, can you plan for next year. Next year we're going to get that water garden in. Next year we'll put lattices against the garages and grow honeysuckles all up them to hide the walls and build a pergola with a swing and... . This year I got some herbs planted. I went to the garden store and asked them for a plant that could duke it out with the neighbor's thistels and win and they pointed me straight to the mint. I believe them now. Even though the mint went in very late it's already sending out runners like some weird alien creature infecting the environment. We have friends who are gardening experts and they just shook their heads in horror at the amount of mint (and lemon balm and basil) we had planted. "You'll be fighting it in a couple years," they said. Good. At least they don't have thorns like the thistles. And next year my garden's gonna be awesome. You should see the plans in my head.

Singing--Mine's not a great voice, but I can carry a tune and belt out with feeling. I love to emote through music, and can be brought to tears of joy or sorrow by the emotion in song. Which is related to...

Long drives alone--Taking Erin to and from her school in PA constitutes a 4-hour drive each way. One leg of it is always alone. I frankly love this. I sing, I think, I sing some more. I'd probably make a good truck driver, because I love to drive. Long drives give me happy-in-my-own-head time.

Hot bath with a good book--It has to be a relatively lightweight book--the artsy trade paperbacks with 70-weight paper are too heavy to hold up until the water gets cold--but there's nothing more delightful than pouring through 100 pages of a novel in the warm steam of a bathroom.

Cheetos--Whoever thought of turning corn and cheese into a slurry and then flash-frying the ensuing mess should be sainted. Is there a more satisfying snack food, really?

Good food--The opposite of Cheetos, and the light to their greasy dark. There's nothing quite like the sensation of a flavor that gives your mouth an orgasm. I've experienced this a few times, most memorably at The Marx Brothers in Anchorage, AK, and La Bretagne in Hartford, CT.

Good roleplaying--Nothing better to take your mind off your troubles than an alternate universe and a split personality.

Good friends--Nothing better to take your mind off your troubles than an alternate universe and a split personality. The "away from the office, I don't have to be uptight" one. Thank the gods they're there.

So, I have no reason to bitch. Life is good.


zoethe: (Default)

September 2012

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