zoethe: (legolas)
Sorry, I was just too amused not to share this gem from Cleveland Non-Violence. Finally, that smoking gun we all KNEW had to be out there.. *snert*

***********************

Finally. The Osama Bin Laden/Saddam Hussein link exposed!

Powell Offers Proof of Saddam-Osama Link March 27, 2003

By Gil Christner

UNITED NATIONS - Secretary of State Colin Powell today offered
incontrovertible proof of the long-sought-after link between Saddam
Hussein's Regime and the al Qaeda Terrorist Network.

In a speech before the General Assembly, General Powell was able to
show, through a series of "degrees of separation," how Hussein was
merely 6 people away from Osama bin Laden, leader of al Qaeda. Using
charts, graphs, and all AV equipment available to the U.N., Powell
presented his case to the General Assembly and the entire world, which
was watching via television cameras.

Never rambling or tentative, a confident Sec. Powell spoke with a voice
of authority, outlining the solid connection between the leader of Iraq
and the group of terrorists deemed "the most dangerous people to
Humanity" by Fox News Network. The series of charts and graphs were
presented in 14 different languages, including Farsi, Aramaic and
German. French was inexplicably left out of the languages used.

In sum, here are Gen. Powell's arguments:

1. In December of 2002, actor Sean Penn went to Baghdad, home of Saddam
Hussein.

2. Sean Penn is married to actress Robin Wright.

3. Robin Wright and Penn made the movie "Forrest Gump" with Tom Hanks.

4. Tom Hanks made the film "Apollo 13" with Kevin Bacon.

5. Kevin Bacon made a Visa card commercial with Indian-born character
actor Sahid Benjali.

6. Sahid Benjali used to bartend at the Lingerie Club in Hollywood. In
the early 80's he served drinks to Carmen bin Laden, a former USC
student, who is Osama's sister-in-law.

After Gen. Powell's presentation, there were several heated
discussions, with many of the delegates making angry responses, some of
which were not too flattering to the case being made.

"Six degrees? Fah!" said Ahmad Abu l Gheit, the delegate from Egypt.
"I can get from Saddam to Osama in 5 people! Including Madonna!"

"Six people? I can do it in four," retorted Elinor Hammarskjold, the
Swedish delegate. "And I don't need to use Kevin Bacon! Just give me
the Farrelly Brothers and a pool boy in Bel-Air!" Whereupon the entire
floor of the U.N. erupted into arguments.

Eventually the winner emerged: Tanzania delegate Mark J. Mwando was
able to get from Saddam to Osama in 2 steps:

1. In 1983, Saddam Hussein met with then U.S. Envoy Donald Rumsfeld,
working on behalf of the Ronald Reagan-George Bush Sr. administration,
to arm Iraq against Iran.

2. George Bush Sr. was formerly the head of the CIA, the organization
which armed Osama bin Laden and provided training to his followers in
the 80's.

For coming up with the winning entry, Delegate Mwando was treated to a
party platter from the Carnegie Deli on 7th Ave. "This is wonderful,"
Mwando said as he munched on a dill pickle.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld could not be reached for comment.
zoethe: (Star Wars)
So, the triumph of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was that Indiana Jones kept the Ark of the Covenant from falling into the hands of Adolph Hitler. But if Hitler had gotten the Ark and opened it, wouldn't its abhorrence of evil have caused his skin to melt and his head to explode? Wouldn't we have been better off if it had taken out the top echelon of the Third Reich in one fell swoop?

Why didn't they package it up with a big red bow and send it right over to him?
zoethe: (aragorn)
Okay, here is one lawschool course I am DEFINITELY taking:

4. Following is a description of Law in Literature & Film, L569/1,
#5144, MW, 2:45-4:00 p.m., with Professor Inniss. The course will
satisfy the perspective requirement.

Law in Literature and Film.-- A NEW COURSE

The class covers a variety of topics in legal literature and film. We
will look at examples of law in both literature and film in order to
consider a number of questions about the relationship between law and
justice, the creation of rule regimes, and the role of courts and trials
in a social system. Other issues which may arise in the course of these
discussions are race/class/gender and the law, legal ethics, legal
education, the adversarial system, the relationship between law and
popular culture.

Course Outline

I. Course Introduction
-- Jurisprudence and the Role of Law in Literature and Film

II. Law as Literature
A. Introduction
1. Composition and Rhetoric in Law
B. The Relationship Between Principles of Statutory Analysis and
Reading Law as Literature
C. U.S. Constitution--selected sections
D. Telling Stories: textual analysis of selected cases

III. The Performative Nature of Legal Literature and Film
A. Introduction
B. Trials in Literature
C. Trials in Film

IV. Simile, Metaphor and Symbol
A. The "Law" of Magic--Literary and Film Magic as Rules Regimes
B. Law and Science Fiction
zoethe: (legolas)
Checked the weather report this morning. Tomorrow’s forecast calls for “Wintry Mix.”

Is it just me, or does this sound like a snack food? “The Wilson’s are dropping by this evening, dear. Please stop on your way home and pick up some Wintry Mix – barbecue flavor.”
zoethe: (Default)
In the age of computer technology, it's very easy for law students to get way too reliant on the internet tools available to us for free while we are in school, only to suffer a severe reality backhand when we get into the real world and find that these tools are not only not free, in many cases they aren't even available. So our Legal Writing Professor gave us a research assignment that requires completion in the library, handling big dusty books and competing with each other for their use.

Lovely idea, but a pain in the ass. And triply so because I am temporarily handicapped, making the handling of those large, cumbersome books quite difficult. I therefore obtained permission to bring Jeff along to help me handle the books--requesting permission because he is an attorney and I wouldn't want to be accused of taking an unfair advantage. With the proviso that he was only to help me cart and carry, permission was granted.

Leading to me referring to him as my trained monkey assistant. Which is doubly funny when you realize how smart Jeff is.

All this has gone out the window, however, because Winter is administering yet another bitchslap to the U.S. Erin and her friend Nicole came home for the weekend and this morning I tried to put them on the bus back to school. Greyhound has given up for the day, and so did we. But the trip there and back in white-out conditions on unplowed roads convinced me that there will be no driving back down to spend the day in the library. I feel lucky to have made it home in one piece, between the drivers who are too timid to go over 15 and are therefore road hazards and the insane truckers who are still roaring along at 50. As it was, driving slowly and carefully I got to feel the adrenaline burn of recovering from that starting.... to..... slide feeling several times.

How the hell I'm gonna finish all this research by Thursday, I have no freakin' clue. But today is gonna be spent getting ahead on my other reading so I can stay after class and work during the week and not have to get up early.

For the rest of the semester Legal Writing is just ball-busting, large assignments every week. Our class is doing about 8 times as much as the other section, to which I frankly say, thank the maker. Even though it's a lot of work, I don't get the impression that the other section is learning that much (let's put it this way: the poor students are all glad they have that section, and the good students in that section are all regretting that they got stuck there). But one of my fellow students showed our syllabus to one of the attorneys where she works and his reaction was "I thought you were a first year student," because he thought it looked like the syllabus for an advanced course.

My mantra is, "This is good for me, this is good for me, this is good for me....."

Okay, gonna make coffee and get to work.

How the hell I'm gonna deal with all this snow is beyond me, though. Ferrett, one more marker for the "Most Inconvenient Leaving Town" award. More snow storms are supposed to be behind this one. Does the fun never end?
zoethe: (Default)
Received the final determination for my unemployment--denied. They were not presuaded by my ethics concerns arguments, apparently. A couple of attorneys have sugggested that I go after her for "constructive dismissal," but considering the tooth-and-nail way in which she is fighting the wrongful dismissal case in which she is currently embroiled, it is unlikely that she will "just settle" and I can't see myself spending two years entangled in such a mess--let alone finding an attorney who would think it worth their while to take up. So my pocketbook remains empty for the time being, but I do have a job lined up starting next week.

Second fascinating item: An offer for a National Notary Association Platinum Visa® Business Card. Because, apparently, Notaries Public are high-fliers. This is a part of the training I seem to have missed. I mean, I'm allowed to charge something like $2.00 for notarizing a document. I can't see that adding up to the kind of volume that would make me relieved to learn that I can give cards to my staff at no additional cost. There's a fortune to be made in making paper bumpy, and I've just been giving it away!

Item three is a set of checks from my credit card company that will allow me to transfer balances from other cards to my current card at low,low interest. This would not generally be an item of much interest save for the fact that my card has expired and they haven't sent me a new one yet. Hmmm..Cart? Horse? (I will admit to a vague worry that I threw it away, thinking it was yet another credit offer, but I tear these in half so it doesn't seem too likely.) I should call them, but considering that I am terrified to spend money just now, it's probably just as well that I don't have a credit card.

And, at last, the wedding invitation of a good friend. These invitations have been the source of more tears and grief in the last month than would seem appropriate. The bride has been beside herself, trying to get them done. I, quite frankly, could not understand the fuss. Now I do. Within the inner envelope is the stiff card invitation to the wedding, the stiff card invitation to the reception, the stiff card RSVP with its envelope. Each of these printed items has a square of loose tissue paper protecting the print. Additionally, there is a copy of the directions. In other words, 8 separate items had to be fitted (and fitted carefully, since tissue paper crinkles so easily) within the inner envelope, and then that envelope addressed to the party and skipped into the outer envelope for final addressing. Taiwanese women refuse to do assembly work this complex.
zoethe: (angel)
I came across this link today:

http://www.magicalblend.com/newsletter/November012002/turkey.html

For those who don't care to click through, it is a "Save the Turkeys" group. Rather like Greenpeace and their baby seals. You pay them a $15.00 adoption fee and they "rescue" a gobbler otherwise destined for a kitchen table somewhere. For your $15.00 fee, "you receive a color photograph of your turkey, adoption certificate, and a year's subscription to Farm Sanctuary's quarterly newsletter. A turkey adoption is also a perfect gift for the holidays and a great way to educate your friends and relatives. Farm Sanctuary is also looking for loving, vegetarian homes for rescued turkeys."

Oh

My

Gawd.

The domestic turkey as we now know it is not a fit beast for readapting to the wild. It has no place in the food chain, no vacant niche crying out for its return. It is, in sum, an artifice created only to adorn the Thanksgiving table, glistening brown and chock full of bread crumbs. It is nothing more than a Norman Rockwell picture waiting its turn to fling itself, Shmoo-like, onto a platter saved for this one annual ritual.

This is a creature that, left out in the rain, will drown looking up at the sky. It is less an animal than an animate cauliflower with a turnip pinned to the top.

And they want people to adopt these full-sized, full-grown turkeys. Creatures bred with breasts so fullsome that they can barely walk. Creatures far too stupid to contemplate their own mortality--too stupid, in fact, to be aware of their own existence. There are no circus trick turkeys, no dancing turkeys, no clever turkeys at all.

If we stop eating them, they will die out. They're poor pets, they're tough to breed successfully, and left to their own devices the young refuse to drink and expire within two days. They don't even manage to be cute.

Surely these people something better to do than drive the poor domestic turkey to extinction.
zoethe: (Default)
We're going to a Halloween party today. Ferrett is going as Oz-going-as-God. Which means that his costume will consist of a shirt with a small piece of paper pinned inside it that says, "God." And red hair, all moussed up spikey.

He just got out of the shower and called to me, "Hey, my hair came out really well!" I went in to see, looking at the top of his head. Yeah it did.

I looked down at him. And literally staggered backwards. No mustache, no beard. I'm sure I had the proverbial saucer-eyes. He got a BIG laugh out of that one. I've never seen him without facial hair. It was a shock, but not an unpleasant one. Just surprising.

I am going as a gypsy. Must get a move on. If we find the digital camera we'll put up pictures later.
zoethe: (Default)
I like my new emoticons. They remind me of the little character we (my group of insane drama friends) used to draw on everything in high school. His name was "Fluffy." The catch phrase was "Oh, no, Fluffy!" said in a high voice sounding not unlike Stitch in Lilo and Stitch. (If you haven't seen it, do. Very cute and worth the rental.) So Fluffy's making me happy once again, and you'll just have to bear with me as I play with him. (Except for Ferrett, who has evilly conformed us to his weasel ways on his friends list.)
zoethe: (Default)
So, yesterday in the online witchcraft class I'm taking, the comment was made that we should all keep dream journals. Let me tell you about my dream last night:

Ferrett and I were at a resort town on the Atlantic coast--New England-y. We had come for a specific event, which was cancelled. Ferrett was disappointed, but I said, "Hey, there are other things to see, why the world's tallest train is here!"

Cut to 50-story, green and brass, Thomas the Tank Engine type locomotive.

"And the highest tide ever is happening right now!"

We begin to walk toward the beach and the view of the ocean at the end of a street of beach hotels and restaurants is impressive. Gigantic waves are crashing, and a Coast Guard cutter is out in the midst of it hoving about--imagine "The Perfect Storm" waves set in town. Yet the weather is pleasant. As we get within a few houses of the beach, all of a sudden a wall of sand, three stories high, rises before us--the ocean has pushed it loose and forward like a tectonic plate. The sea is now building up behind it, and at the base of it a crack like a great maw forms. I'm afraid that the water is going to rush out, but instead it bubbles up gently and then quickly erodes the wall of sand back down to beach.

We start wlking on the beach in the sunshine, feeling very happy. Out of nowhere my father (not MY father, but someone who in this dream is my father) grabs me roughly by the arm and growls at me, "I should have known I'd find you here with him." He drags me back to our house, where I am now young and virginal and forced to care for my hateful father. Ferrett is living in the house, but we aren't allowed to see each other. Yet we know we have to be together. He is being held in a room that I can't get into, but I find the window. The window is too small to climb through (it also has a red frame, for what that's worth), so we begin taking the glass out of the frames, much as you would lift out a shower door All of the sudden my father's henchman (played by an actor who has played evil, nasty henchmen in many movies) appears. "So," he says. "I knew I'd find you here. Come with me." He drags me away and I'm frantic with fear. If he tells my father, he will beat me. I beg him not to. He looks me up and down with lecherous eyes and says, "What will I get out of it?" I know what he wants and tell him that I will sleep with him to buy his silence (in the dream this doesn't seem like that big a deal to me, but I know that it is to him). After considerably more begging he agrees not to tell my father and lets me go. I go back and climb through the window, where Ferrett is finishing our master plan. We are going to create a distraction in order to escape.

We are going to create an artificial earthquake and make it seem like a monster is attacking the town so that the Powerpuf Girls will come and while everyone is distracted with them, we are going to run away.

This is why I don't keep a dream diary....

(Yes, there were Powerpuf Girls and much silliness from this point, but it was chaotic and then the alarmclock went off.)

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