zoethe: (Default)
I have so much work to do that I am feeling affronted by the world. So I have managed to avoid all morning, which makes it worse, etc. etc.

I thought I'd gotten this out of my system when I did college.

Gah. Must get to work.
zoethe: (Default)
I am not used to having time for these sorts of things at work. But it's the holidays and even though the attorneys are running around dealing with crises, my requests for projects have gone unanswered--they appreciate that I have asked, but don't have time to delegate. So I am twiddling my thumbs.

Here's the really weird part. If someone gives me one small project, something that should only take 20 minutes, I end up taking an hour or more to get it done, because I have to gear back into the working mode.

Yet yesterday I was given three projects, some of them fairly extensive research, and polished them off well before the end of the day. It's a focus thing, I guess.

I never thought I'd be making LiveJournal entries from the office. Never could fathom those who did. But it's better than just sitting here.
zoethe: (YummyAlyson)
It's amazing how much a little organization can acomplish. I have completed my contracts reading for the week this morning, and organized the cases for my next legal writing project. I feel awake, alert, and generally more satisfied with myself.

All because I have a job interview at 11 requiring me to structure my day.

I am not happy with this tendency to "drift" on days when I don't have anything other than class at 6 to serve as a parameter. I don't get it--what is it about the way that I "tick" that makes a busy day so much easier to handle? I have this need for externally-imposed boundaries that irritates me. And yet, I have to say that it's not that I'm NOT getting the things done I need to do on the other days. They just don't have the sharp, bright edges that signify beginnings and ends. I don't like smudginess in my daily life. It makes me restless.

So why can't I impose that internally? Why do I continue to need an outside force for those parameters? I know what makes me comfortable, why do I avoid it? Do I fear getting comfortable without the outside imposition?

I have no answers, just a feeling of accomplishment and a vague dissatisfaction with myself.

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zoethe

September 2012

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