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My Alaska time is coming to an end, and I will be flying back to Ohio tonight. It's been a good trip, one on which I have grown. My appreciation for good wine has increased--not necessarily to my benefit, since I am about to embark on life as a poor student one more time. I also feel like I understand my place in the world better, and have a better idea what I want out of life. Amy nad I have had some great talks about choices, and how our being apart is a result of choices that both she and I are making. I feel stronger about being where I am, and I think she feels more empowered in our relationship.

I am returning to absolute chaos at work, and a life that is getting more complicated all the time, but for the moment I feel calm and at peace.
zoethe: (Default)
Being in Alaska again...weirdly different because it's so much the same. There are only a couple restaurants that have changed hands, a minor bit of construction. Nothing has disappeared, no real surprises. In some ways it's worse. I miss it, and it feels like I could just pick up life here again without missing a heartbeat but that's an illusion--my life is elsewhere now. That's not bad, just...unbalancing. It's left me melancholy.

Had dinner at the Marx Bros. last night. As brilliant as always. An amazing red wine. All very rich. I woke up at 4am feeling like I'd been poisoned. But even as I laid there in the dark feeling ill, I could not be unhappy. The experience was worth the suffering.
zoethe: (Default)
I'm packing for my trip to Alaska and reflecting on how quickly we adapt to the creature comforts and want more, more, more. The flight is a 14 hour time commitment, for which I have purchased a Discman, had Ferrett burn CDs, am carefully choosing books, and in general engaging in whiney, self-indulgent self-pity.

It took me 7 days to drive here from Alaska.

It took pioneers months to make the same trip.

If we had transporter technology, I'd probably complain about the half-hour wait in line.

I am not alone in this behavior,just more self-aware than most.

When I first started at my current job, taking over the workload of a former employee who was pretty much a screw-up (we're still undoing her colossally sloppy mistakes), the clients were *thrilled* that there was someone there who would finally return their calls, answer their e-mails, and get back to them in a timeframe that didn't include an infuriated call to the senior partner of the firm. I make it a policy to get back to people on the day that they call or write.

Now that's not fast enough for some of them. If I don't answer when they call, they leave a voicemail and call back in 15 minutes. When I started letting them know that I was going on vacation for a week, it was "dog pile on the paralegal!" time. Everything was an emergency and needed an answer NOW! At 3pm yesterday I told Jeff I thought I would have to come into the office for a few hours this morning. Wisely, he told me that he would throw my ass out if I did--and then helped me get through it all, which is why I love him.

The point, however, is that no one wants to wait for anything. Instant is no longer fast enough, and gratification is fleeting. I'm as guilty as the next guy, it's just odd to watch.

Enough of this. More entertainment into my carry-on bag and off to Alaska, visiting my kid, and late night novel discussions with Sheldon!


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September 2012

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