A crisis in faith
Nov. 12th, 2002 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zoetheNot religious faith, mind you. Just having trouble keeping focused on what my raison de lawschool is.
And it's all because I've gotten a really good job.
Now, when first I wandered into Cleveland, and for the first year of my life here, I lived in penal servitude to the Psychobitch. So my dream of law school had a multitude of positives about it--I would eventually escape from the hellhole, I would achieve a job that afforded me a modicum of respect, and, quite frankly, working at chez Psychobitch sapped so much of my life force that law school couldn't do much more damage.
All that has changed. Though I haven't started this job yet, I know from a friend who used to work in this office that the work the person before me did will not take up all my time and I will be able to take on even more interesting and challenging work when I have learned the first job--and they are anxious to give me that responsibility. The atmosphere is friendly, even though it is busy. I will be working on the university campus, which is a beautiful environ, as most older campuses are.
Most importantly, the work day is 8:30-4:30 (some overtime, but they actually PAY it, so they keep it to a minimum). Rather than the 7-6 I worked at Psycobitch Central. Meaning that, with a little luck I could be home by betwen 5 and 5:30, instead of 6:30 or so. And get up at a decent hour in the morning. And have evenings to write, read, watch a movie. Weekends to do yardwork, visit friends, relax. I could have something that resembles a normal life.
Except that on top of that I have piled law school. At the end of which I will be something like $60,000 in debt, and be a new attorney, making, what $40,000? $45,000? Probably about what I'll be making as a paralegal by that time.
I was talking to a fellow paralegal who is having the same misgivings. A longtime paralegal at the firm where she works (one of the big ones), finished law school and passed the bar.
They made her a legal secretary. With the promise that she will get a position when one opens up, but a slight decrease in pay in the meantime.
I could spend the next four years in law school, always fighting deadlines. Or I could accept that paralegal for the University Attorney's office isn't too damned bad and enjoy myself.
I'm leaning toward the latter. Maybe that's end-of-the-semester speaking. I'm not the one to judge right now.
And it's all because I've gotten a really good job.
Now, when first I wandered into Cleveland, and for the first year of my life here, I lived in penal servitude to the Psychobitch. So my dream of law school had a multitude of positives about it--I would eventually escape from the hellhole, I would achieve a job that afforded me a modicum of respect, and, quite frankly, working at chez Psychobitch sapped so much of my life force that law school couldn't do much more damage.
All that has changed. Though I haven't started this job yet, I know from a friend who used to work in this office that the work the person before me did will not take up all my time and I will be able to take on even more interesting and challenging work when I have learned the first job--and they are anxious to give me that responsibility. The atmosphere is friendly, even though it is busy. I will be working on the university campus, which is a beautiful environ, as most older campuses are.
Most importantly, the work day is 8:30-4:30 (some overtime, but they actually PAY it, so they keep it to a minimum). Rather than the 7-6 I worked at Psycobitch Central. Meaning that, with a little luck I could be home by betwen 5 and 5:30, instead of 6:30 or so. And get up at a decent hour in the morning. And have evenings to write, read, watch a movie. Weekends to do yardwork, visit friends, relax. I could have something that resembles a normal life.
Except that on top of that I have piled law school. At the end of which I will be something like $60,000 in debt, and be a new attorney, making, what $40,000? $45,000? Probably about what I'll be making as a paralegal by that time.
I was talking to a fellow paralegal who is having the same misgivings. A longtime paralegal at the firm where she works (one of the big ones), finished law school and passed the bar.
They made her a legal secretary. With the promise that she will get a position when one opens up, but a slight decrease in pay in the meantime.
I could spend the next four years in law school, always fighting deadlines. Or I could accept that paralegal for the University Attorney's office isn't too damned bad and enjoy myself.
I'm leaning toward the latter. Maybe that's end-of-the-semester speaking. I'm not the one to judge right now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Nope!
on 2002-11-12 11:09 pm (UTC)1) You are a know-it-all - not in a bad way, but you are highly efficient. The paralegal job is a fine idea today... But after fifteen years of paralegaling, when you know more than most lawyers and yet will have no power whatsoever, I GUARANTEE you that you will be grinding your teeth and cursing the Gods daily. It's not even like they can let it slide, like they occasionally do with experienced nurses; you will not LEGALLY be able to do your job to the best of your ability. This will drive you 100% batshit crazy, and I will NOT be able to help you.
2) Your pride will suffer immensely. Yes, you ran into a nightmare case of a paralegal bitching about her job - but on the one hand, it may well be a case of one lawyer wannabe bitching to someone who she thought could sympathize. I know MY job always sounds ten times worse when I'm talking to someone in the field.
But more so, this is your last shot. You give this up, you're giving it up forever... And it's the easy way out. It's NOT as much power, and you're fooling yourself if you think it is.
The money may be a wash... Though considering we had two companies literally fucking dueling over you today, I SINCERELY doubt you're going to come barrelling out of school to wind up trapped in an $18,000 a year legal secretary position.
Essentially, what this comes down to is that you're looking at stripping versus college. Stripping's easy money, you get a lot of attention, and you have a lot of time during the day - there are sincere advantages in the short term. School is hard, takes up time, and runs up debts.
Too many women wind up strippers and then wonder where their life went. Don't be one of them.
If you take the short term view, I'm not gonna support ya when the long term comes around to bite you in the ass. I love you with all my heart, hon - and that heart says to STAY IN SCHOOL. It will be worth it.
And if I'm the one who takes it in the shorts from your schooling and I'm the one fighting for it the most fiercely, then what does THAT tell you?
Hugs,
T.F.
no subject
on 2002-11-13 08:48 am (UTC)My belief is that you went to law school for none of these reasons, and that is why you are staring into the abyss. Money aint it, I dont think. And (ahem) not finishing educational programs you've started isn't new ground.
I think you're going to law school because you need to, in order to exorcise some old inadequacy demons from Husband 1.0. You're not walking out now just because Linda Blair's head has quit spinning around momentarily. You can do it. And I dont know who youre talking to, who is working as a legal secretary, but she needs to quit, she's being taken advantage of. Law firms dont do that to people they really want to hire.
Re:
on 2002-11-13 02:39 pm (UTC)I'm with them
on 2002-11-13 12:25 pm (UTC)Stick with it... You won't be sorry.