I want my mommy

[zoethe]

I'm tired of having to be the grownup. I don't want to get in the shower, get on the road, get through another 14-hour day.

As I said in a comment to Lyssa, my Legal Writing prof was all sympathy yesterday. "You'd better cut back and take it easy."

Who's gonna let me off the hook? Sure as hell not school, and work's done all they can.

So I take a deep breath and keep moving. Because I don't have any choice.

Comments

[ladycathead.livejournal.com]

Do you have to go to school after work today? Come home & have a nap. You sound frazzled. :( I wish I could take a vacation in Tahiti about now, but since that's not possible I try to take teeny breaks when I can. Even if it's a 20 minute nap here or a hot bath there. That way when I'm at the end of my rope, I'm a little less likely to let go entirely. This time of year in Ohio is not easy for ANYBODY. Feel better. :(

[zoethe.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. I am allowed 2 absences in one class, four in the other all semester. If I get the flu or something, I will be in trouble. Besides, everything moves so quickly that missing anything is hugely risky.

A nap would be wonderful. I might try to grab one in the library comfy chairs, if I have time...

[neorxnawang.livejournal.com]

Poor moomoo :-/ Im glad you're almost to the "no more narcotics" stage, that's definitely turning the corner. Your rationality should return, right after this commercial break....Just make sure there's not some disgusting amount of packing in the incision you dont know about (shudder....bad memories).....

You of course have choices. No one is holding a gun to your head. No one is making you go to law school but you, or not take vacation but you. You could sell your house for a Rolls-Royce because nice cars make you horny (oh....wait....scratch that idea, Bentleys are sportier). You could drop out of school and sit at home watching Buffy reruns. You could quit your job, flounce about in foppish clothing that makes you stand out, composing prose elegys and seeing how many swooning young damsels you could rack up, and rationalize it as aesthetics like a character out of "Patience." You could go on an Obermeyeresque crusade against imaginary conspiracies. You could become a Buddhist monk. The neat thing about modern American society is that you really can do just about anything you want, as long as it doesnt require someone else's cooperation or you have it.

Of course, you have drive and ambition and self-respect, so you want to succeed. You care about others, and what others think about you, and like the way being sized up appreciatively makes you feel. Only four things hold us back in life: our physical limitations, our mental limitations, our choices and our responsibilities to others. I couldnt keep a 4AM-9PM schedule physically or neurologically and I wouldnt try. That you can do it in your present state is damned impressive.

[zoethe.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. You brought tears of gratitude to my eyes. I am doing this to myself, but you're right that it's with good reason. I will try to bear that perspective in mind as I forge ahead.

Not that I'm going to stop whining, mind you [g].

I miss you, by the way. There hasn't been anything of me left over to spend time with you, but I think of you. Unfortunately, I can't even call you from the car during the downtime of driving, because I only have one hand to steer with!

Re:

[ladycathead.livejournal.com]

Please try to. You sound so tired & unhappy & I know you'd feel at least a little better. :( I love library comfy chairs...and I also love bookstores that have them too. I can be happy spending all day snuggled somewhere reading & drinking coffee till my hands shake! hee hee...I try to limit myself to 2 coffees cuz I get jittery after that but y'know. S'good. :)

Re:

[zoethe.livejournal.com]

That was my worst day so far, other than getting hurt. I am improving, though not as fast as I'd like.

Thank you for the good wishes, though.

I am sorry

[lyssabard.livejournal.com]

that you feel so awful. I wish i could help beyond sympathetic words.
Just know I am here to listen, at the least.

Rant away.
And I hide bodies, if necessary.

Re: I am sorry

[zoethe.livejournal.com]

No bodies to hide, just wy too many reasonable demands.

Now, if you'd made that offer when I was at my last job....